Monday, May 6, 2013

Stairway to HELL.

Photo curtesy of:
It has come to my attention that a recent fashion trend has begun to quickly spiral out of control. The trend I speak of is the Super Platform, or as I like to call it, “the Horse Hoof Conundrum.”

Here’s the thing: I should be all over these shoes. Being short and stubby should mean that I’m dying to get those extra inches wherever and however I can. There’s only one problem. I think these shoes are hideous. They’re ugly and just so wrong (along the same lines as those retched UGG boots). Now, it’s one thing to wear these underneath wide leg pants that skim the floor. But women aren’t wearing them like that! They wear them with dresses…out in the open…where everyone can see! I simply don’t get it. I don’t find them sexy at all. They look like the love child of horse hooves and stripper shoes!

I’m not against platforms by any means. In fact, I enjoy a nice 1-2” platform heel every once in a while. What I’m railing on are the shoes with the ridiculous 4-5” platform that are on top of an already 3-4” heel. That’s about nine inches in total! Am I the only person who feels this way?! It’s like a couple seasons ago, where skirts kept getting higher and higher and you couldn’t find a hem that went to mid-thigh, let alone to your knee.

People are going to look back on this decade of fashion and ridicule these shoes as we ridicule enormous shoulder pads and tapered elastic-waist pants today. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END???

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